


I'm Not A Fucking Demon

by playertwoisheereandqueer



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Angel Shane Madej, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-04-27
Packaged: 2019-04-28 10:56:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14447823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/playertwoisheereandqueer/pseuds/playertwoisheereandqueer
Summary: Shane Madej is most certainly not a demon.In fact, that could not be further from the truth.





	I'm Not A Fucking Demon

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cryoto](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cryoto/gifts).



He didn’t know how the theories had started, but right now, he was hoping they’d fucking stop.

Shane was not a damn demon. In fact, that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Murdering people went against his heavenly nature, but he was so damn close to killing a short little shit that apparently supported these theories whole heartedly.

Namely, Ryan Bergara.

When Shane had first fallen, Ryan had been one of the first people he’d met. When locking himself in the apartment he’d somehow acquired had proved not to be a great survival strategy, he went to find himself a job. He’d gotten himself an internship at Buzzfeed, and chance had it that He would be stuck with Ryan for a few hours every day.

Ryan’s firm belief in the supernatural amused him. He often spoke animatedly about demons that no longer existed (as Shane had seen personally to their departure) and ghosts.

Shane could probably point out a few places that were certainly not haunted, despite the, um, evidence.

Sallie House.

The Lizzie Borden House.

Viaduct Tavern.

He _had_ felt a little something on the boat and in the weird asylum thing where Ryan had thrown that ball, but a further investigation had turned out to be nothing of importance. And, if he was honest, the flashlight incident in the Sallie House had been him. He just enjoyed fucking with Ryan. Shane’s firm disbelief in demons had somehow pegged him as a demon, which made no sense to him. Like, _oh, this guy doesn’t believe in demons? He must be a fucking demon!_

Of course Shane believed in demons! He’d been tasked with… evicting some of his hellish counterparts before God had kicked him out of Heaven. In fact, he still did it.

Like a private investigator.

He stifled a laugh as C.C. Tinsley came to mind. Ryan looked at him curiously. They’d been seated at Ryan’s desk, talking over a new season of Supernatural, which mainly consisted of Shane vetoing ideas and Ryan getting frustrated. Shane shook his head and rolled his shoulders back as the uncomfortable feeling erupted between his shoulder blades. They were desperate to come out, but he couldn’t _let_ them out until he was home, which wouldn’t be for at least another couple of hours.

It was a pain in the ass, but he had to put up with it.

Ryan went back to talking, Shane went back to vetoing.

That’s when shit hit the fan.

An intern came in, apparently looking for someone. He was frowning, and someone asked him who he was looking for. The intern made eye contact with Shane, and recognition sparkled in his eyes, but his name appeared to escape the intern.

An unfortunate side effect from his angelic times left Shane with the burden of being forgotten, as most humans would not be able to handle the knowledge the supernatural actually existed. The minute Shane was out of sight as an angel, he would be forgotten. Not technically being an object of heaven anymore, the effect had watered down, but sometimes even Ryan and Sara, aka the two people he spent the most time with, forgot his name.

The intern got frustrated and pointed at him. “Him! Daddy long legs! Demon child!”

Ryan sniggered next to him, and Shane kicked him under the table.

Someone, voice strained with trying not to laugh, said, “You mean Shane?”

The intern nodded sheepishly. Shane scowled.

“I’m not a fucking demon! Jesus Christ!” A feeling took over Shane, like his tongue was knotting. God damn it. His human habits had gotten the better of him.

Ryan burst out laughing, but Shane couldn’t say anything. He just stood and brushed past the intern angrily.

 

His shoulders ached, and he just wanted to get home.

So when some little shit threw salt at him as he exited the room, he blew up.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” He felt a little prickle, right behind his eyes, which usually meant some angelic shit was going to go down.

He tried to calm himself down, because he didn’t want to smite anyone today, thank you.

That’s when he noticed Ryan was there.

“Really? You too? I knew you thought that these theories held a little truth, but I didn’t think you would go this far.” Shane was really insulted. And kind of hurt. “I’m not really that bad a guy, am I?”

Ryan grinned at him, although something was a little off. Shane couldn’t put a finger on it…

“How do I know you’re _not_ a demon?”

Shane blinked, trying to refocus on the conversation. Then he scowled.

“You… Salt them, they burn. Salt me, I get annoyed. As you can see.”

Ryan blinked at him, bit his lip, and then hauled ass, like he couldn’t get away from Shane fast enough.

_Now_ Shane felt really hurt.

Ryan rewatched the footage, trying to find something to explain what he had seen in the video. He’d edited it out, but it left a little of a weird feeling in his gut.

There. There it was.

He paused the video, scrutinising every area and everyone around them.

Something that explained why Shane’s eyes were glowing like a glow stick. Something to explain why they appeared to be an ice blue, when Ryan knew full well Shane didn’t have blue eyes.

Nothing.

Ryan rested his head on the table with a sigh. He’d been torturing himself over this for a full week. Maybe he just needed to ask Shane.

Yea. That was it. He needed to ask Shane.

Before he could chicken out, he dialled his number.

 

When Shane got the call requesting him to meet Ryan at his apartment, he couldn’t help but feel worried. Had someone died? Had he done something?

He agonised until Ryan showed him the footage. He tensed. And agonised some more, but about something different.

_Shit._

He’d been arguing with a demon, trying to get it out of the house. He hadn’t had time prior to the investigation, so he’d tried to do it off-camera. But nope, it had caught him. Ryan paused the video.

“So, what’s going on, Shane?” Ryan looked at him expectantly, as if explaining could be that easy.

Maybe he should just get it over with. He sighed through his nose and looked at Ryan seriously.

“Swear to me, you won’t freak out.”

After making Ryan swear black and blue he wouldn’t freak, he began to clear the room to allow himself some space. Ryan looked at him quizzically…

Then it happened.

The pain and tension left Shane’s shoulders as they… materialised, he guessed, behind him, big and black, marking him as a fallen. Ryan paled as he looked on. He didn’t say anything. Shane really hoped he hadn’t gone insane.

“So, not a demon then?” He eventually asked weakly, accompanied by a smile just as weak.

Shane barked out a laugh.

“Nope. Quite the opposite.”

Ryan began to giggle. Holy shit, he _had_ gone insane.

“I can’t fucking believe it. You’re an angel.”

His wings retracted, and he rolled his shoulders back. “Fallen angel.”

Ryan looked at him with the most innocent expression, he worried about what was coming next.

“What happened?”

He was right. An innocent enough question, but it was kind of painful.

“Well, I was once kind of well respected.” Ryan snorted, but Shane glared at him. “Shut up. I was actually pretty high up on the food chain.”

“So, what happened?” Ryan prompted.

“I… got into an argument with one of my higher ups…” Shane bit his lip as the anger resurfaced, fresh and raw. “I didn’t like the choices we were making. I didn’t think it was fair we couldn’t let in the suicide victim after she killed herself due to a rape, but we could let in her rapist.”

Ryan’s eyes looked kind of sad. Shane just shrugged.

“It’s fine. It was boring up there anyway.” His phone buzzed in his pocket and he checked it. “That’s Sara. I need to go.”

Ryan’s mouth lifted a little in the corner. “Women.”

Shane nodded with a smile. “Yea.” He ruffled Ryan’s hair. “See you later, short stuff.”

Despite just being told that the supernatural did in fact exist, Ryan still managed to push aside anything he was feeling from that to scowl.

“I’m not that short.”

“You’re like, what, two feet tall?”

“Low blow, Madej.”

Shane felt his face twitch as he tried not to smile. Ryan looked perplexed.

“No… I meant…” he let out a frustrated cry.

Shane laughed. “I know what you meant. See you later, little guy.”

He closed the door to Ryan yelling at him.

He was glad some things never changed.


End file.
